Embarrassment. My current opening to rich veins of shame and guilt, that I am mining with intent.
There is a felt sense that comes up. Stereotypically, my ears start to feel hot. They start to ring a bit.
It is as if my senses want to shut down and stop taking in this now.
So I play with it. With these rules of the game:
- I am safe. I am breathing. I am alive.
- Nothing I will do next will increase my status. Nothing I do will decrease it either. Status is another game, and it is not the game for this now.
- There is something to learn now, what is it?
And then I let the embarrassment happen.
Always, I find some deeper sense of shame and or guilt.
Sometimes, I learn what that is about.
Mostly, it opens up a new layer to play with.